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- Thinking of Dating a
Horsewoman? -
Thinking
of dating a horsewoman? Please read the following carefully:
Easy to Locate.- She's either off on the horse or out in the barn.
Upholds the double standard - Smooches with the most bewhiskered
beast, but recoils when a man needs a shave.
Owns one vacuum cleaner - and operates it exclusively in the barn.
A social butterfly - providing the party is given by another horsey
woman. Falls asleep in her soup at all other functions.
Economy minded - Won't waste money on permanents, facials, or
manicures.
A culinary perfectionist -
Checks every section of hay for mold but doesn't blink when she petrifies
dinner in the microwave.
Occasionally amorous - but never leaves lipstick on your collar, at
worst, slight trace of chapstick.
Easy to outfit - No need for embarrassing visits to uncomfortable
little boutiques. She can find all she wears at the local tackstore.
Features a selective sense of smell - Bitterly complains about the
sticky-sweet cigar smoke of others while remaining totally oblivious to
the almost visible aroma of her barn boots drying next to the heater.
Unmistakable in a bathing suit -
She's the one whose tan starts at the nose, ends at the neck, and picks up
again at the wrists
A dedicated club woman - as long as the words "horse" or
"riding" appear in its name.
Has your leisure at heart - Eliminates grass cutting by turning
every square inch of lawn into pasture which, in turn, converts itself
into mud.
A master at multiplication - She starts with one horse, adds a
companion, and if it's a mare, she breeds it.
Keeps an eagle eye on the budget - Easily justifies spending six
hundred dollars, but croaks when you blow ten on bowling.
An Engaging conversationalist -
Can rattle on endlessly about training or breeding.
Socially aware - Knows that formal occasions call for clean boots.
A moving force in the family - House by house, she'll get you to
move closer to horse country (and farther away from your job.)
Easy to please - A new wheelbarrow, custom boots, or even a folding
hoof pick will win her heart forever.
Sentimental fool - Displays a minimum of six 8x10 color photos of
the horse in the house and carries a crumpled snapshot of you (taken
before you were married) somewhere in the bottom of her purse.
Shows her affection in unusual ways
- If she pats you on the neck and says "you're a good boy,"
believe it or not, she loves you.
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From
www.nchorsenews.com
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