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How to Think Like A Horse: The Essential Handbook for Understanding Why Horses Do What They Do

Horse Stable and Riding Arena Design

Horse Owner's Veterinary Handbook (Howell Reference Books)

Horsekeeping on a Small Acreage: Designing and Managing Your Equine Facilities

Barn Manners

  • I won't pull all of the hay out of the feeder and dump it on the ground before eating it
  • I will not immediately crib on the anti-cribbing surface that Mom just spent 4 hours installing.
  • I will not go up to the newly soaped wooden ledge (favorite cribbing spot), crib on it despite the half inch of Orvus, and then blow soap bubbles in my clean water bucket.
  • I will not run over my owner when that person tries to open my stall door and let me out. Further, I will then only go through the gate leading to the pasture, not the one opening into the road. I do not want my owner to resort to putting my halter on just to turn me out, as if I were a silly foal.
  • We will not tear off each others' halter fuzzies in play and then pass them down the shed row to our neighbors several stalls away. Further, we will not tear off chunks of each others' noses.
  • I will no longer get overexcited every time the foal or the miniature horse is led by my stall.
  • I will not take my mommy's fly mask off and stomp on it and shake it till I've killed it and then carry it to the other end of the pasture and drop it in the farthest, farthest corner where my human has to really hike to get it back.
  • I will not dance in the cross-ties while mom's got her new dressage saddle resting on my back (not yet girthed up), causing it to slip back, which causes me to spook and dump the saddle upside down in the gravel :)
  • I promise not to chew on everything that comes within 12 inches of my nose to see if it's dead so that Mommy won't get hurt if it attacks.
  • I will not jump the fence when I go out to play and Mommy doesn't stay even though she tells me she will be ok (I worry about her).
  • When you put a water heater in my water tub, I will NOT pull it out and try to burn the barn down!
  • I will not dig my way to Australia before I roll. 8 inches of shavings should be enough for anyone.
  • I will not assume that because my person fits between the rails on the post and rail fencing, I will. (This was very humiliating, I couldn't get my head and leg back and had to wait for her to do it.)
  • I will not throw my haynet over the stable wall, then complain 'cos I can't get it back. (I've got a small holed haylage net, I'd rather have hay on the floor)
  • I will not throw my rubber feed tub at my person. She says it hurts.
  • I will not crib the instant my cribbing collar is taken off.
  • I will not get jealous when my person is riding, grooming or playing with any other animal or person.
  • I will let Merlot into the run-in shed in bad weather.
  • I will learn to appreciate my stall, it is warm and clean and soft.
  • I promise not to go into my brother Stoney's stall when Mom lets me in from the paddock just 'coz I like to see Stoney get all worked up. I know which stall is mine and will *always* go into my stall from now on.
  • I will not turn around and threaten to bite anyone this summer when they cinch me up, especially my favorite person or the other workers.
  • I will not not NOT try to open the windows to other horse's stalls when Mom turns me out in the dry lot behind the barn while she cleans my stall.
  • I will not throw fits and run around and kick my heels up past the top fence rail when Mom turns me out in the dry lot without Lady.
  • I will NEVER EVER EVER again squeal and pace circles in my stall when Mom brings me in and leaves Lady outside so that Mom has to come in with the whip and move me around until I pay attention to her instead of trying to look out the window at Lady.
  • I will not jump over the automatic waterer in my field and run the fenceline because I can't figure out how to get back to my pasture.
  • Once I get in the other field, I WILL NOT rip off all the plywood on the back of their shed in a raging blizzard!
  • I will not roll *right* next to the fence so I get cast. Especially at the far side of a muddy field when my She doesn't have her rubber boots with her.
  • I will not remove my brand new tail bag so that my She has to go slog through the mud again to rescue it
  • I WILL NOT jump over the door and out of my stall from a standing start, giving everybody in the barn a heart attack.
  • I will not make a shot for the pasture when mom opens my stall door.
  • I *Will* *Not* have an attitude problem. I won't I won't I won't.
  • I will not get cranky just because we don't go home when I'm ready.
  • I Am NOT required to mouth everything I can find
  • I will not bite or kick everything within range.
  • I will not dance around at the end of my lead rope whilst fly spray is being applied for my own good, even though it tickles like mad.
  • I *will* behave when my teats are being cleaned.
  • I will not accost anyone carrying a: bucket, bowl, pan, sack ect. to determine if there is anything for me in it.
  • I won't step in dog doo on the way to the barn to be groomed.
  • I will not try to dig a hole to China in the aisle when I get restless.
  • I will not jerk my leg back and forth making impossible to get my feet picked.
  • I will not chew on things that don't belong to me.
  • I will not swat at imaginary flies.
  • I will not shake my head uncontrolably for no reason.
  • I will not make my slave come and get me in the mud, I will come when called.
  • I will not take my stable bandages off in the night so they serve no purpose but for pillows.
  • I will not try to get out of my hood.
  • I will no longer kick 15' in the air when a horsefly lands on my back (even if it is a Giant Mutant horsefly). I understand it will not carry me off to feed to its' young.
  • Water/mud/flyspray will not dissolve me.
  • I will no longer rip the boards off the fence with my lead line when I am tied to it and somthing spooks me.
  • I will not pull my fly sheet off over my head and grind it into the dirt.
  • I will not lie in the mud when I have a perfectly nice shed with clean shavings.
  • I will not turn right around in the crossties when the shoer is trying to shoe me, just so I can see where Mom is.
  • I will not pull my new shoes off the next day just to prove I can still do it.
  • I will not roll in the mud when it is thirty degrees out and come in cold.
  • I will not give the other slave a hard time when its time for dinner... I will go directly to my stall and not run through the barn at warp speed screaming my head off.
  • I will not roll 10 minutes before Emma gets home from school and wants to ride out with friends.
  • If I have to roll I will try to do it in a nice grassy area, not in the dustbowl bit.
  • I am neither a beaver or a carpenter. I promise I won't eat or remodel the barn or the fences.

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From http://www.jerseyguy.com/badhorse.html


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