Equine Kingdom Riding Academy is no longer in operation.
These more than 2,000 unique pages are provided for historical and educational reference.
Equine Kingdom - Click to return to the homepage
Lessons  Arcade Anatomy Articles
Training Newsletters Library Breeds
Boarding Photos | Videos Classifieds Links
Wish List Education |Names Photography Quizzes
Advertising Miscellaneous Gifts   Humor U.S. Stables
Fun Facts Comments Stories  Books Tack Shop
History Glossary
SiteMap Contact Search Equine Kingdom

How to Think Like A Horse: The Essential Handbook for Understanding Why Horses Do What They Do

Horse Stable and Riding Arena Design

Horse Owner's Veterinary Handbook (Howell Reference Books)

Horsekeeping on a Small Acreage: Designing and Managing Your Equine Facilities

Thinking of Dating a Horsewoman?

Thinking of dating a horsewoman? Please read the following carefully:

Easy to Locate.- She's either off on the horse or out in the barn.

Upholds the double standard - Smooches with the most bewhiskered beast, but recoils when a man needs a shave.

Owns one vacuum cleaner - and operates it exclusively in the barn.

A social butterfly - providing the party is given by another horsey woman. Falls asleep in her soup at all other functions.

Economy minded - Won't waste money on permanents, facials, or manicures.

A culinary perfectionist - Checks every section of hay for mold but doesn't blink when she petrifies dinner in the microwave.

Occasionally amorous - but never leaves lipstick on your collar, at worst, slight trace of chapstick.

Easy to outfit - No need for embarrassing visits to uncomfortable little boutiques. She can find all she wears at the local tackstore.

Features a selective sense of smell - Bitterly complains about the sticky-sweet cigar smoke of others while remaining totally oblivious to the almost visible aroma of her barn boots drying next to the heater.

Unmistakable in a bathing suit - She's the one whose tan starts at the nose, ends at the neck, and picks up again at the wrists

A dedicated club woman - as long as the words "horse" or "riding" appear in its name.

Has your leisure at heart - Eliminates grass cutting by turning every square inch of lawn into pasture which, in turn, converts itself into mud.

A master at multiplication - She starts with one horse, adds a companion, and if it's a mare, she breeds it.

Keeps an eagle eye on the budget - Easily justifies spending six hundred dollars, but croaks when you blow ten on bowling.

An Engaging conversationalist - Can rattle on endlessly about training or breeding.

Socially aware - Knows that formal occasions call for clean boots.

A moving force in the family - House by house, she'll get you to move closer to horse country (and farther away from your job.)

Easy to please - A new wheelbarrow, custom boots, or even a folding hoof pick will win her heart forever.

Sentimental fool - Displays a minimum of six 8x10 color photos of the horse in the house and carries a crumpled snapshot of you (taken before you were married) somewhere in the bottom of her purse.

Shows her affection in unusual ways - If she pats you on the neck and says "you're a good boy," believe it or not, she loves you.

Return to main Humor page

From www.nchorsenews.com


Webmaster: Sally A. Nolte
 EquineKingdom.com  2007-2023
Copyright, Disclaimer, and Terms of Use
Locations of visitors to this page
Please also visit:   RF Cafe | Airplanes and Rockets