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How to Think Like A Horse: The Essential Handbook for Understanding Why Horses Do What They Do

Horse Stable and Riding Arena Design

Horse Owner's Veterinary Handbook (Howell Reference Books)

Horsekeeping on a Small Acreage: Designing and Managing Your Equine Facilities

Other Funny and - Well, Not So Funny Horse Quotes

  • Are you - poor, sick old ere your time -

    Nearer one white your own sublime

    Than we who have never turned a rhyme?

    Sing, riding's a joy!

    For me, I ride.

    -Robert Browning


  • Over, under, or through.

    -Three-day eventing exhortation on how to get to the other side of a cross-country obstacle


  • The left side is the right side, and the right side is the wrong side.

    -Maxim about where to mount and dismount

  • All King Edward's Horses Canter Many Big Fences.

    -Mnemonic for the A-K-E-H-C-M-B-F letters around a dressage arena


  • Had I but known about breathing in my youth, how much simpler my competitive riding life would have been.

    -Victor Hugo-Vidal


  • The riding of young horses is an excellent nerve tonic.

    -Geoffrey Brooke


  • A perfect book on riding could be written only by a horse.

    -Vladimir S. Littauer


  • A cowboy is man with guts and a horse.

    -Attributed to Will James

  • Keep one leg on one side, the other leg on the other side, and your mind in the middle.

    -Henry Taylor


  • Experienced riders are not prone to brag. And usually newcomers, if they start out being boastful, end up modest.

    -C. J. J. Mullen


  • May your belly never grumble,

    May your heart never ache.

    May your horse never stumble,

    May your cinch never break.

    -Cowboy Blessing

  • Don't fall off.

    -Advice given by Hollie Hughes, and elderly trainer


  • A racetrack is a place where the human race is secondary.



  • Losers walking around with money in their pockets are always dangerous, not to be trusted. Some horse always reaches out and grabs them.

    -Bill Barich


  • If horses knew their strength we should not ride anymore.

    -Mark Twain

  • Certain comic effects can be acheived by a brand-new rider, especially a man who dresses like a fashion model and rides like a tailor.

    -C. J. J. Mullen


  • Anyone who is concerned about his dignity would be well advised to keep away from horses.

    -Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh


  • You can tell a gelding, you can ask a mare, but you must discuss it with a stallion.


  • Speak kindly to your little horse,

    And soothe him when he wheezes,

    Or he may turn his back on you,

    And kick you where he pleases.



  • An exhibitor went up to a horse show judge to complain about being placed below someone who made some sort of mistake, such as being on the wrong lead. The judge's explanation: "The other guy did it better wrong than you did it right."



  • A horse is dangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middle.

    -Ian Fleming

  • How do you catch a loose horse? Make a sound like a carrot.

    -British Cavalry joke

  • I prefer a bike to a horse. The brakes are more easily checked.

    -Lambert Jeffries


  • You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to roll over and float on his back, then you got something!

    -Joe E. Lewis

  • When the horse dies, dismount.


  • Horses are something to dream about...and to wish for; fun to watch...and to make friends with; nice to pat... and great to hug: and, oh, what a joy to ride!

    -Dorothy Henderson Pinch

  • It's difficult to water a horse that won't lower its head.

    -Finnish Proverb

  • But a horse is a labor of love as well as a responsibility, an aesthetic as well as a dynamic pleasure, something to contemplate as well as to ride.

    -Sarah Montague

  • When I hear somebody talk about a horse or a cow being stupid, I figure it's a sure sign that animal has outfoxed them.

    -Tom Dorance

  • Stable thinking is the ability to say "neigh".

    -Source Unknown

  • You can lead a horse to water...if you got a horse.

    -English Proverb

  • The first horse to drink doesn't get dirty water.

    Nigerian Proverb

  • Folk songs? They're all folk songs - I never head a horse sing.

    -Louis "Satchimo" Armstrong

  • There is no greater pleasure than a nice ride on a nice horse on a beautiful day.

    -Judy Richter

  • The horse is, like man, the most beautiful and the most miserable of creatures.

    -Rosa Bonheur

  • A horse is worth more than riches.

    -Spanish Proverb

  • Steeds, steeds, what steeds! Has the whirlwind a home in your manes?

    -Nikolay Gogol

  • There is no need of spurs when a horse is running away.

    -Publicus Syrus

  • A lovely horse is always an experience... It is an emotional experience of the kind that is spoiled by words.

    -Beryl Markham

  • I heard a neigh. Oh, such a brisk and melodious neigh is was. My very heart leaped with the sound. -Nathaniel Hawthorne

  • I love the horse from hoof to head. From head to hoof to mane. I love the horse as I have said- From head to hoof and back again.

    James Whitcomb Riley

  • ... When I looked at life from the saddle and was as near to heaven as it was possible to be.

    -Frances, Countess of Warwick

  • There is nothing in which a horse's power is better revealed than in a neat, clean stop.

    -Michel De Montaigne

  • You can't control a young horse unless you control yourself.

    -Lincoln Steffens

  • It's what you learn after you know it all that's important.

    -Legendary Californian rider and trainer Jimmy Williams

  • Riding is simple...it's just not easy.


  • Every time you ride, you're either teaching or un-teaching your horse.

    -Gordon Wright

  • Half of the failures in life arise from pulling in one's horse as he is leaping.

    -Julius and Augustus Hare

  • I never play horseshoes because mother taught us not to throw our clothes around.

    -Mr. Ed [the "talking horse" of the 1960's TV series


  • In what other sport do you put on leather boots, stretch-fabric breeches, a shirt and tie, a wool jacket, a velvet-covered cap, and leather gloves, and then go out and ride?

    -A. London Wolf


  • Want to end up with a million bucks in the horse business? Start out with five million.



  • That hoss wasn't built to tread the earth,

    He took natural to the air,

    And every time he went aloft,

    He tried to leave me there.


  • Horses do think. Not very deeply, perhaps, but enough to get you into a lot of trouble.

    -Patricia Jacobson and Marcia Hayes


  • Riding-the art of keeping a horse between you and the ground.



  • I ride horses because it's the only sport where I can exercise while sitting down.

    -Joan Hanson


  • One man's wrong lead is another man's counter-canter.

    -Steven D. Price

    Return to main Humor page


*Information summarized from The Quotable Horse Lover, by Steven D. Price





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